I always want to sit down and write a bit…. and then I get busy with a million other things. Life has just been a whole lot lately. If you don’t follow us on youtube or instagram, you should do that for the most current updates on life and the growth of Bellamy! Just search twodykesandatyke, you’ll find it! 🙂
So, man. Halloween was 1 year since we found out that we lost one of the twins. It was a rough day for me, which is unfortunate since Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. The holidays just mean so much more these days. It was rough. I always have this giant gaping whole in me of where that other person was supposed to be. I’m not sure I’ll ever be “okay”. It terrifies me about having more children… will I have to go through that again? Will I just be able to carry next time and not have a loss? It’s so terrifying. I’m not sure I can handle that again. These are thoughts that keep me from running out for baby #2 like yesterday.
I am ready to give Bellamy a sibling. I have learned that I don’t think I want to be a 1 child parent, obviously I am so thankful for her and if that’s all that we get, I can live with that. I’m not sure we can make perfection twice. 😉
She is getting so big. She is starting to get such a little personality. She has things she likes, and things she absolutely hates. She’s doing so well at daycare, I cannot brag enough. However, she’s also not real fond of strangers these days.
I started a new job after my maternity leave, which is where my lack of time for blogging comes from. At my old job I had a lot of down time to do whatever I wanted. My new position is quite demanding if I don’t want to have to work extra. I love it though.
I know this post has been a bit all over the place, I just wanted to jot down a quick update on life, my thoughts, my feelings. Life as a mom has been more than I could have ever hoped for.
So here it is, broken down and so very late. We went into the hospital Sunday 5/21 at 3:00 pm to be induced. I have never been so nervous of something in my life. I knew that I my life would be changed forever when I left, and hopefully for the better. We got to the hospital at 3 and had an hour or so to change and get settled and hook up the monitors on my belly. Then at 4 they inserted a tiny pill by my cervix to start the process of softening it. After 4 hours they inserted Cervadil, which is on a string and goes by the cervix as well. That one had to stay in for 12 hours. The doctor came in to check me the following morning at 8 and broke my water at 8:07. Which was seriously the craziest feeling! I was only dialated to 1 1/2 at this point. So the drugs didn’t so much do anything. We started pitocin then. I got an epidural around 10 that morning and was dilated to a 4 at the time. I was one of those lucky people that the epidural didn’t really work on. I could pretty much always move my legs and feel things. Around 4-5 my epidural had completely worn off so they pushed another bag of meds. When the doctor came to check me at 7:50 that night I was ready to push and coincidentally my epidural was wearing off again. I pushed for two hours to no avail. So after two hours of intense pushing and the worst pain I have ever been in from the contractions, we decided to do a c-section. I was more than okay with this decision by that point. All I wanted to do was get her out safe and sound. It all moved so quickly after that point. They got me prepped for the c section and moved me to the OR. It took a while for them to push enough meds so that I was actually numb enough for the surgery. I had a fever prior to the c-section so they had to keep the OR super cold and I couldn’t have any blankets to warm me up. This and the combination of the meds made me shake SO BADLY. They pulled her out at 10:32 and hearing that cry… I can’t even explain it. I am not ashamed to say I cried so hard. Like body wrenching sobs. Lyndsey took off with her to the nursery and got to stay with her during everything afterwards. I finally got back into our room around 30-45 minutes later and got to hold my baby. She was alert and wanted to see everything for those first few hours. I’ve never met a more perfect tiny human.
They kept me for an extra day in the hospital and gave me so many different antibiotics to try and ensure I didn’t get an infection after the c section. It was a crazy experience that did not go at all how I had thought that it would, but she had other plans. That and her head was NOT fitting out the other way. 😂 we are so lucky to call her ours. ❤️
It has been way too long since I have written anything. This pregnancy has just been moving right along. I can’t believe the last updated I posted was 10 weeks ago! I have had a total of 3 glucose tolerance tests during my pregnancy due to her tummy measuring a bit big, turns out we are just having a big ole baby. Our weekly BPP appointments went fantastically and she has just all around looked good and comfy in there. We had our final prenatal appointment this past Tuesday and she was measuring 8lbs 7oz. Yikes. Let’s just say that my lady bits are a bit nervous at this point. LOL
The third trimester has been fairly nice to me. I’ve mostly been plagued with acid reflux and back pains. Although, my back has been hurting so bad these last few days it’s been difficult to function. -_- SO close to the end though!!
We’ve been trying to make sure everyone knows what our hospital plan is – which isn’t exactly loads of fun. I’m slightly wishing we would have just said no visitors at all and just been done with it. As is though, we are planning on my wife and my parents being in the L&D room until it’s actually baby time, at which point it’ll just be my wife and I for her birth. We are planning on taking a couple of hours to ourselves to bond with Bellamy and try and get breastfeeding down, let me shower and rest, etc. No one is particularly happy with being forced to wait to see her, but I don’t feel bad in the smallest bit. We have asked everyone to keep it off of social media until we post about it, and aren’t letting anyone take pictures until we do make the announcement that she is here. The reasoning for that is I know how it’ll go when people start sending around pictures to everyone, someone will tag us in one on Facebook and it’ll take that away from us. Yes, I’m being EXTREMLY selfish and I’m totally okay with that. My parents have been a dream and are absolutely respectful of everything that we want, which has helped make us feel less like jerks.
My OB doesn’t want to let me go over 39 weeks, especially with her size. Our induction is scheduled for next week and I am SO excited to finally know when she will be here (or at least when labor will start). It’s likely that my induction is going to end in c section if she really is the size they are guessing, which I didn’t want, but I will take literally anything that gets her here safe and happy. I’m hoping she’s just really long (her thigh bone is measuring like 2 weeks ahead) and that her length is throwing off the weight measurements. Fingers crossed for that one! I’m so ecstatic that we only have a few more days until we get to meet our girl. AHHHH. I’m so nervous, excited, freaked out, and everything in between.
Our nursery is finished – I’ll add some pictures to show off how great it turned out. I’m absolutely in love with it. Lyndsey did all of the wall paintings and made a few of the signs as well. I knew it would turn out good, but I’m just constantly amazed at how talented she is. We’ve gone with a woodland theme (because we are both a bit obsessed with foxes) for pretty much everything. Our baby shower was also woodland themed. I’ll include some pictures of that as well. 😊 oh, I’m adding a few maternity pictures as well!
It is finally here. FINALLY. The third trimester. I keep trying to write and then I keep getting busy. This pregnancy is moving right along and I’m thrilled. We had a scare a couple of weeks ago that sent us to L&D due to lack of movement, but she was fine! I think I’m even more of a worried mess now that I’m feeling movement. I know I’ll never forgive myself if I’m just not paying attention and something goes wrong.
I finally put my tampons away. That’s such a silly thing, but they’ve been sitting where they always do and I’ve been too scared to move them thinking it would jinx things. It’s exhausting, but these are the things that go through my head. Pregnancy has been amazing, aaaaannnnnnnddddd full of worries. Baby girl has been doing great at all of our appointments. She was measuring about a week ahead at our last check up.
We have OB appointments every 2 weeks and high risk appointments every 4. We go to weekly appointments with our OB at 32 weeks, which is only 4 short weeks away! I’d be lying if I said I’m not looking forward to that. I’m SO looking forward to weekly ultrasounds.
I have an anterior placenta, so her movements are pretty light but still there when I’m paying attention. I can’t help but wonder how differently her kicks would feel if I didn’t have the anterior placenta. But hey, I’ll def take what I can get!
Nursery is very close to completion, with the exception of the mural momma is going to paint for her next week. Our shower is the 18th and we are hoping to have it all completed by then! I can’t wait to share pictures with you guys. I’m in love with it! 😍
Overall, I don’t have any complaints. Symptoms are about what you’d expect: round ligament pain, back pain, trouble sleeping. I feel so lucky to have had it as easy as I have. I’m so ready to meet our little girl in 12 short weeks. ❤
I cannot believe how quickly things are moving with this pregnancy. It’s been a blur of appointments and I think that’s been making it speed on! These pictures are from our 20+2 appointment.
Let’s play catch up for a moment. We are still seeing the high risk doctor. We had an anatomy scan with the high risk doctor at 18+2 and the baby was measuring great. We had another with our OB at 20+2 and we were in the 54% so we were looking great! We will continue to see our OB and high risk doctor for now just watching growth and making sure everything looks okay. Pre-term labor is still the biggest concern, so let’s keep this baby in there for as long as possible.
So – the exciting part. What are we having!?!?!?!?! Spoiler alert: she’s already spoiled AF. If you want to see our gender reveal you can watch our video at http://www.youtube.com/twodykesandatyke – it’s totally worth it. 😊
We will go to weekly appointments at 32 weeks and at 28 weeks I’ll have to start kick counting. I’ve been feeling movement for a few weeks now. It seems to be getting more and more distinct all the time. I can’t wait for Lyndsey to be able to feel those little kicks and punches. 😍 we feel so thankful that things have progressed so well since our loss. It’s hard because I’m TERRIFIED to say good things and jinx it. Hitting 20 weeks was a major milestone for me and I’m finally letting myself be excited.
We received our crib in the mail yesterday and our dresser should be here Thursday. Yay! We aren’t putting anything together until Lyndsey finishes painting the nursery completely. It makes me feel good to have that stuff already. I’m a total control freak and feel like I never have enough time for anything. Lol. We will probably have everything finished by like 30 weeks and it’ll all just have to sit there until we have a baby. 😂👍
On a sad note – stop reading now if you don’t want to hear me be a downer. Tons of couples we follow are having twins. It’s so difficult for me. I feel so guilty in thinking “why do they get to have two health babies when we had to lose one of ours?” So I have issues with that. No one tells you how hard it is to lose a baby. I don’t think they can even put that into words. I want so badly to be all “that’s so great, congratulations!!” But I have a hard time. Don’t get me wrong I am SO happy for them. So very very very happy. I would NEVER EVER wish that pain on anyone else. But I’m also extremely jealous and sad. Sigh. I think it’s one of those “it’ll just keep getting better with time” kind of things.
It felt like the second trimester would never get here. I don’t even know where the last few weeks have gone. Our little babe is the size of a lemon! So crazy! I’m still a nervous wreck and scared to be hopeful, but our next OB appointment is next week. So ready. The other thing I’m SO ready for? Movement. Our at home Doppler has been a life saver, but I don’t think anything will compare to feeling our baby move and knowing they are still there. It’s crazy to think that I could not live without someone I haven’t even met yet. I’m trying so hard to enjoy this and not worry all of the time. I’d be lying if I said I was succeeding in that.
When did you first feel movement with your first? I’ve been so hyper aware and I never know what I’m actually looking for. 😂
I’m in that “eating too much or pregnant” stage and ready to have a “real” baby bump! We cannot wait to meet our little bean. ❤️
I’m pretty much over any nausea, but I’m still not real interested in eating anything. Headaches are a very common thing. As in daily. Lower back pains. Moodiness. That is pretty much all the symptoms I have going on. Things are just rolling along.
Monday was our appointment with the high risk specialist. What a different experience that was! Our appointment was at 9:30, we got there at 9, and got called back at 10. Then had an almost hour long ultrasound. I got very used to our fertility doctor doing the ultrasounds and everything and making comments along the way. When it’s a tech, they can’t say anything. So I’m just laying there freaking out that something is wrong. NT scan looked great. Baby looked great! I was 12w2d and baby measured right on track. Baby was jumping and moving all around – which I didn’t mind getting to watch for the duration of the ultrasound. ❤️
The high risk doctor said that the demise of one twin before 12 weeks often has a minimal impact on the other twin for the remainder of the pregnancy. So while still high risk, the baby is at a minimal risk for anything to go wrong – with our biggest concern being preterm labor. However, she seemed very confident there is no reason we shouldn’t progress as normal and have a happy healthy baby in May. We have to see her again at 18 weeks for a full scan at that stage – and hopefully that will be all! Our next OB appointment isn’t until 16 weeks. BOOOO. For reference, that’s just over 3 weeks from today. It’s crazy how quickly this is going by.
Symptoms have been MAJORLY sucky lately. I’ve had more nausea in the last week than I’ve had in the entire first trimester. Eating sucks. Headaches everyday. Currently battling allergies. But all so worth it for this little bean. ❤️
P.S. LOOK AT THOSE LIPS. 😍🙌
It’s been a while since I have updated. We graduated from the fertility doctor on October 21st at 8 weeks 6 days with both babies measuring 8w4d and looking great. It’s so bittersweet saying goodbye to these people that have been through so much with us, but it means that our pregnancy looks good and we can be “normal” pregnant people. SO EXCITING.
Our first OBGYN appointment was October 31. We both woke up so excited to meet our OB, we had done so much research online and we were very sure we had found the OB for us! We got to the office 20 minutes early and I filled out paperwork for about 30 minutes. LOL. I’m not even sure what all forms I signed now, they all started to bleed together. Our OB had to leave to deliver a baby and so the ultrasound tech went ahead and took us back to get our ultrasound going. She did all of the prelim stuff (measuring ovaries/uterus/etc.) and said after that we would get to the fun stuff – looking at the babies! She didn’t say much, but told me I could go ahead and go use the bathroom because I had asked her before we started if I could go first. It felt wrong. Something just felt off – like she wasn’t saying something. She kept saying that our OB would be back shortly and we would finish the ultrasound… Now that’s not at all what she had been saying 5 minutes prior, so I was instantly on alert. I asked Lyndsey when we were alone if she thought something was wrong and she didn’t seem to have the same feelings I did.
They took my blood, gave me a flu shot, and then the ultrasound tech came back in. I asked her if something was wrong or why we were waiting on the dr now. She said she just likes to have him close when she does it, blah blah blah. Basically gave me a long non-answer and walked out. At this point I was freaking out. Lyndsey kept saying that she didn’t say yes something was wrong or no it wasn’t so we didn’t know. However, I knew. If they won’t tell you no that means yes. Our OB arrived shortly after and he was so nice! We instantly liked him. They got started on the ultrasound and started with baby B. Baby was looking perfect, measuring at 10w2d which is exactly where I was. Baby was moving around on the screen, just wiggling away. It’s crazy that I can’t feel that inside of me. I wish I could have enjoyed this moment more. I hardly even remember because I wanted them to move on to the other baby. I could tell from before it looked like it was measuring smaller.
The ultrasound tech spent about 5-10 minutes looking at baby A. The baby was only measuring at 9w3d and I think we were all holding our breath hoping that she would find the heartbeat… There was none. I can’t even describe how awful the moment of him saying “there is no cardiac activity” was for me. What can you do? Cry. That’s what I did. We were SO sure there wasn’t two. Then there was. Now there isn’t.
Our OB was fantastic. We still love him and are so happy with our choice to use him. We will be seeing a high risk specialist to find out the risks for our baby with the other one still in there. They were fraternal so they should have separate placentas – which the dr said is great and lessens the chances that the other baby will hurt the development of this one. We won’t really know much until we meet with the specialist. I hope so badly that appointment will be sooner rather than later. I swear if I could have an ultrasound machine at home, I would. We are so blessed to still have one baby that appears to be healthy and strong. I just hope it stays that way. My pain is unreal, but my joy at seeing our other baby moving around is astronomical. I’m hoping for good things for the rest of this pregnancy. It’s not going to be easy, but I will withstand anything to have this baby here, safe, in our arms 30 weeks from now.
So. Twin parents no more. We will forever wonder about the person that baby could have become.
Here is our little bean. Hang on little one. Your mommies want to meet you so bad. ❤️
I think the picture pretty much says it all. Twins. TWINS. ❤️ baby A is measuring 3 days behind baby B at 6 weeks and 1 day compared to 6 weeks 4 days. Both of them are looking great!!
The second we saw them I started crying so hard. I was a nervous wreck all morning and had convinced myself I didn’t even want to go through with the appointment. So amazing.
Neither of us expected twins. We were actually very sure it wasn’t twins because our beta numbers were so normal. Obviously that’s not a good indication.
Sorry this is so short and a little sparradic, I’m still in shock that there is actually something in there, let alone TWO. ❤️